UNCHECKED ENTITLEMENT: ITS DANGER AND WHY WE MUST PROTECT OUR ENERGY

There is this thing that many of us do not attach so much importance to but deep down, it is a painful reality many of us have experienced and yet, we rarely talk about it openly. 

Many of us have lived through times when we felt like a little support from someone closer to us was all we needed, and we would have done better, but that never happened. We had to sail through almost everything all by ourselves. 

There are times when all we needed were just words of encouragement, someone to tell you that you've done well but no one was really there to see what we needed and the words never came, if not being replaced by harsh words. 

It is not something to deny, but a lot of people would agree that the people who have done us the least of favors, contributed little to none in our lives, never helped through our journey in life are the ones who most times feel the most entitled to our time, our energy, our focus and participation and even our successes in their own lives. It's one of the most confusing things. 

At times, we look around and start to question ourselves... "What did this person do to expect this much from me?" or "What's the impact of this person in my life for them to have this much expectation from me?". 

When we truly think about it, they were nowhere to be found when we needed them. When the going got tough and we needed a hand, they never stretched theirs. They never helped during our struggles, never supported our growth, they never showed up when it mattered. And yet, somehow, they feel they deserve a space at the top of our priority list or even think we would reserve a front row seat for them, sitting to everything we're becoming. That's entitlement of the highest level and pedigree. 

The dangerous part of someone who feels entitled is that their expectations doesn't know the boundaries of their contributions. They just create problems for you without proper assessment. And to a certain extent, I believed many of us have made this a way for them. We make ourselves too available in the name of keeping everything intact, we become too accommodating and we're always willing to please them, even if it creates a personal problem we must deal with on our own for us. 

We mostly give time, attention and energy to the wrong people without limit and no structural pattern. We allow lots of people to stay in our lives without them earning their own keep without us asking... "Is this relationship adding value to my life?", "What's the purpose of this person in my life?". 

And without providing an answer our mind would settle with, over time, we start to deal with such people and later get used to them. 

What we once gave freely out of kindness, they begin to expect it as a right. And this is where the shift happens, from appreciation to entitlement. 

Now here is the problem, the moment we start to grow on our own, value our time, protect our space and do things with real intent, we suddenly become a different person in their eyes or even make us feel guilty for not being available as we used to by calling us proud. 

But the truth is that we didn't change negatively, we became aware of what's good and what's toxic for our time and energy. And awareness as they say would always come with adjustments. And just like we've said earlier, not everyone is ready to accept the new you and grow with you. But in all of these, we must be selective of people who deserves a level of accessibility to us. 

Just because a person knows who we are doesn't mean they are entitled to us. Being around us doesn't mean free accessibility, especially for people who have not significantly contributed to our lives. Respect, value and access are things that must be earned and built, not assumed as an entitlement. That is why many would encourage that we set boundaries, not out of pride, not for wickedness or disrespect, but as a form of discipline. Boundaries are structures that protect our peace, energy, growth and our purpose. 

Without these boundaries, our energy would be drained by people who don't even deserve it, people who have done nothing for us but expect everything. If care is not taken, we will find ourselves constantly pouring from our own half filled cup for people who would never appreciate it, till we both probably end up with empty cups.

It is very important for us to understand that not everyone in our lives is there to grow with us. Some people are simply around for the time being and others are there to test our ability to choose ourselves. 

Choosing oneself doesn't mean we've become selfish, it means we've become intentional. We start to question who truly supports our growth or those who adds value to our lives, respect our time and effort, and most importantly, those people who only show up when they need something from us. 

When we're able to properly answer these questions honestly, we'll naturally begin to withdraw from certain people and that's very okay, Why? Growth sometimes requires separation. 

Many of us would have gone beyond where we are today if we never entertained unnecessary expectations from people who have not invested in our lives. We should learn to give where there is value and only show up where there is mutual respect because at the end of the day, our time is limited, our energy is precious and what we all want to achieve is bigger than only having people who constantly drain us by their feelings of entitlement. 

If we don't set boundaries, people will set them for us and we may not like the outcome of that. We must protect our space, guard our energy and never feel guilty for becoming disciplined about who we allow into our lives. After all, not everyone around us deserves us. 

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